I am not the girl...

I am not the girl that waits for the phone call...

I am not the obsessive girl that calls you if you don't, I'm chilled out, free, I am easy going and understanding. And yet, as cool as I may try (and very often succeded) to be, things don't shine in my sky.

Juanita told me to get busy, to use my time in a productive way, and hey, I did! Went for long walks every day, worked more than ever, exploded my hobbies, went to the bar for a chat when I found myself at home, gosh, I'm tired! And even when i'm not the girl waiting for the phone call... God! How much I would like him to call me!

Anyway, as usually I was annoying Juanita with my speech, the strong girl shit, "I am not the one who likes guys, I don't get involve and I don't get hurt"... And she said something full of wisdom (for a change!  x), she said that the problem is that I won't admit that I like him. And then there's a contradiction between who I say I am, and who I end up being, between what I say and I do! And that's even worse than stay waiting for that call that very well may never happen, or even worse than admitting that I do like him and accepting that he doesn't, betraying myself is worse than getting hurt!

So here I am. I'm trying not to be waiting for the call keeping myself busy. And yes, I do like him, and yes, I may end up hurt again, but I'll be myself and only myself.