What I want...

I have no idea what I want. As a lot of people (I was going to say 'girls' but lately had discovered that men could be even worse!), I want one thing and maybe even before getting it, I already want something else. But is not to be childish (I prefer to think is only ambition!), I also wanted something so so so much that was obsessed for years till I got it (working my arse out to get it!).

Tonight I discovered something I want. Something I didn't think I wanted. I want someone to be crazy about me. I want someone that could not stay away from me when I'm around. I want someone who is on the ther side of the room, but unable to take his eyes out of me. I miss the warm feeling of someone being mad about me. I can see it in some friends couples eyes and is so tender, so sweet...

And even so, I keep repeating to myself: I don't want love. I may want it deep deep into myself, I don't know. I do know that I want someone to make me feel special, who is there when I need to talk to someone, who is able to pay attention to the details. I want someone who would hug me and who would trust me. Shit. I'm reading myself... Do I really want this? Ey wait... that doesn't mean I want someone who depends on me. Is it that hard to find someone independant, with a life, that would go crazy for me? Maybe I'm asking too much.

The funny thing is that I know is possible. I had it before.