Hello, my name is X and I'm a mess

I just realize that my perfect relax life is just a mess. A freking huge mess. How did I let it go so far? Here I am, I'm a terrible mess.

I've been goig out with a guy for 3 weeks and even when I can't say I'm falling for the fella, I can't avoid getting a bit obsess, I guess is only cause I'm putting too much on this relationship (or whatever it is). I miss so may things of being with someone and he is being so nice that I can't avoid wishing to see him more often or spend more time toghether. But I need to stop this before I get hurt. Again.

So is saturday night and he is at home watching tely. It annoys me cause I was clear I wanted him to come with me tonight to my friends gig. Not even my housemate met him yet. I wanted to make it oficial: in a small town when you are seeing with someone you become, for the local gossip ladies (and gentlemen!), oficialy in some kind of relationship with whom you're with. People who you barly know will comment on that issue. And I thought that's what I wanted. But I'm thinking it again, and maybe is better not to make it public.

Next week I'm going on holidays. Is some kind of special holiday for me. I'm going to walk almost 170 km in 6 days in the middle of Spain. I need to put my body to work to clear my mind and decide what I want. Thats the goal.